


A Day in the Life of the Server of Obernewtyn

by MisfitManaged



Category: Obernewtyn Chronicles - Isobelle Carmody
Genre: AWOL Elspeth, Parody, Rushton has middle-management syndrome, The Futuretellers are freaking out, The teknoguilders are chill AF
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-30
Updated: 2019-10-30
Packaged: 2021-01-13 02:29:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,874
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21236651
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MisfitManaged/pseuds/MisfitManaged
Summary: "Welcome back, all of you, to Spring. Yes, finally, the pass has defrosted. I trust you spent your Wintertime well. I am yet to receive many of the Guild reports, however there is evidence enough in this greeting of the subtle changes many of you will notice the moment you get down to business."A silly look at what an email server at Obernewtyn might look like. Written in 2007 and ported over here for posterity. Parody (I cannot stress this enough). Utter nonsense. Proceed with caution.





	A Day in the Life of the Server of Obernewtyn

**Author's Note:**

> So a thousand years ago, when Obernet was a thing, I coupled together this bizarre thing after finishing Matt Beaumont’s awesome novel ‘e’.  
Get ready for guild politics, a little back-stabbing, a little silliness and a very busy look into what a day in the life of an Obernewtyn email server might be like...

**rushton@obernewtyn.net - Day 1, Spring – 8:45 am  
** **to: All Guilds  
Subject: A NEW SEASON**

Firstly, my compliments to Javo and Katlyn for this morning’s remarkable firstmeal. You have outdone yourselves in preparing us for the exciting new season ahead of us.

Welcome back, all of you, to Spring. Yes, finally, the pass has defrosted. I trust you spent your Wintertime well. I am yet to receive many of the Guild reports, however there is evidence enough in this greeting of the subtle changes many of you will notice the moment you get down to business.

Much credit is awarded to the Teknoguild, for implementing this new method of inter-Guild communication. I know, many of you may fear the change, the historical implications, the incomprehensible equipment, but rest assured that this new system of electronic-mailing will surely ease what until now has been a most hectic and, if you would, archaic way of life. Its benefits will shine over all guilds and members of Obernewtyn.

So, as Master of Obernewtyn, I ask you to be accepting, and at least give it a try. The Futureteller Guild has already forseen its success.

The season is panning out nicely for us already, with assurances from the Beasting Guild that pre-season planting plans were organised well before-schedule and I’m certain that for the next few moons, many of you will be busy rearing soil and crops; our lifeblood. I know you will do Obernewtyn proud.

Word from Hannay, our Sadorian emissary, arrived with the big Thaw by bird-mail. He is quite well and sends his regards to all of you, though suffered a substantially warmer winter than we did in our mountain alcove. I will be personally considering distributing another of our ranks to the Sadorian people to assist Hannay over the coming seven-days. Talk to your Guildleaders if you wish to know more about this opportunity.

In closing, welcome back to our new and old faces. Welcome back to Obernewtyn, ala email-style.

Rushton Seraphim  
**Master of Obernewtyn**

* * *

**dell@obernewtyn.net - Day 1, Spring – 9:10 am  
to: All Guilds  
Subject: RE: A NEW SEASON**

Hi all,

We would like to mention also the Futureteller plans for the up-coming spring cleaning, to take place 3 days hence at the crack of dawn. We would appreciate it if all Guild members were made aware of this as soon as possible in order to minimise the strain on an undoubtedly arduous and menial task. But someone’s got to do it.

Many thanks,  
Dell Futureteller Ward

* * *

**rushton@obernewtyn.net - Day 1, Spring – 9:19 am  
to: Alad; Gevan; Dameon; Maryon; Elspeth; Roland; Garth;  
Subject: A NEW SYSTEM**

Following on from where I left, I expect a sharper and cleaner Obernewtyn face from all of you this year. I am not trying to deride last year’s achievements; I only hope to express that we can only reach higher, and only serve our people better.

Guildmerge, my office, midday. Be there.

Rushton.

* * *

**dell@obernewtyn.net - Day 1, Spring – 9:24 am  
to: Jak;  
Subject: get in here NOW.**

Maryon and Christa are both having issues with their email. Something to do with the moon in Aquarius forbidding use of inanimate objects / equipment before the trimex of Pythagorus – I don’t know. They are making excuses and have been on my case all morning as though I have anything to do with the teknoguild just because I can work this infernal machine. It’s bad enough Maryon made me email all of the Guilds with our typical ‘good tidings’ already. So, tekno-head, here’s your first assignment of the season.

Welcome back indeed.

D.

* * *

**jak@obernewtyn.net - Day 1, Spring – 9:39 am  
to: Garth;  
**Subject: FW**: get in here NOW.**

Garth, Thank you again for the amazing opportunity you have given me in the front-running ranks of the Teknoguild as Guilden. I realise the extra responsibility this title implies and also recognize the personal growth prospects you have offered to me. And it seems we already have some teething problems re: the Futuretellers. Dell just emailed me (below). Do you want me to take the pleasure in explaining email to a group of neo-Ludites?

Jak  
Teknoguild Guilden

* * *

**garth@obernewtyn.net - Day 1, Spring – 9:58 am  
to: Jak;   
****Subject: ****RE: FW: get in here NOW.**

Jak,

I will bring the problem up in the Gulldmerge, ETA: 12:00pm and perhaps check in on them afterwards before Maryon suffers a migraine and forsees the decline of us all because of our choice of operating systems. Are you ready for your first Guildmerging experience?

And enough with the guffarwing; you deserve the promotion.

Garth.  
Teknoguild Guildmaster

* * *

**rushton@obernewtyn.net - Day 1, Spring – 9:59 am  
to: Elspeth;  
****Subject: ****checking in.**

Good morning Elspeth. I missed you last night. I trust you will grace us with your presence at this morning’s Guildmerge. Lud knows it’s been too long since we’ve had a good argument.

Meet me later for chocca by the greenthorn?

Rush.

* * *

**lina@obernewtyn.net - Day 1, Spring – 10:06 am  
to: Zarak;  
****Subject: ****THIS IS SOOOO COOL.**

Can you believe they went ahead with this?!?!?! Alad’s busily typing away over in his barn, I can hear his fingers going. No doubt emailing Rushton about the unfairness of the communications network due to the Beast Guild’s lack of digits. I have to agree with him; it cuts them out of our circle in a most un-Obernewtynish manner. But…consider the possibilities!!

Lina.

* * *

**zarak@obernewtyn.net - Day 1, Spring – 10:17 am  
to: Lina;  
****Subject: RE: ****checking in.**

Im not good with theis keyboad yet. Beasts will work something out. Talk later. Zarak.

* * *

**alad@obernewtyn.net - Day 1, Spring – 10:19 am  
to: Rushton;  
****Subject: RE: ****A NEW SEASON**

Rushton,

I must again express how the Beast Guild’s pride has been insulted with the implementation of the email network. I am excited myself by the prospects of it, however I feel that you are excluding a strong and righteous voice in our community by reverting to this old time method of networking.

In brief; beasts can’t type. Nor ever will they. If they are to retain equality, something must be done.

I will work on a strategy - I am just making you aware of the aversion.

Alad

* * *

**rushton@obernewtyn.net - Day 1, Spring – 10:30 am  
to: Alad;  
****Subject: RE: ****A NEW SEASON**

Bring your ideas to Guildmerge with Avra. We’ll discuss it there. I am aware that we can’t exclude them from this.

Rushton

* * *

**gevan@obernewtyn.net - Day 1, Spring – 10:37 am  
to: Coercer Guild  
****Subject: ****Morning all :D**

Welcome Spring, and Coercer Guild.

I trust you all heard the news over the Wintertime, but I shall make the official announcement; Miryum is MIA and Domick has resigned from his position of Ward of our most worthy Guild. As such, the positions of Guilden and Ward must be refilled.

I will be assessing and discussing your behaviour over the Wintertime with the other Guildleaders at Guildmerge this morning, and hope to give you the tidings, pronto, as to who will be their perhaps temporary replacements. We have agents in the Lowlands trying to locate Miryum as we speak/type.

Gevan  
**Coercer Guildleader**

* * *

**merret@obernewtyn.net - Day 1, Spring – 10:40 am  
to: Gevan;  
****Subject: RE: ****Morning all :D**

Good morning back to you, fearless leader :D

So Miryum and Domick’s positions are going to be filled! How exciting! Let me know if I can help at all. I’m up to my neck in combat training coordination this morning, but I always have time for my Guildmaster.

Merret :)

* * *

**merret@obernewtyn.net - Day 1, Spring – 10:45 am  
to: Coercer Guild  
****Subject: RE: ****Training starts today**

A quick reminder to all quilled into the combat fighting session this morning.

We begin warm up at 11. Meet us at the front gates – it’s still not too late to join!

Merret :)

* * *

**rushton@obernewtyn.net - Day 1, Spring – 10:48 am  
to: Elspeth;  
****Subject: ****Elf?**

Where are you my dearest? Not figured out the computer yet?

R.

* * *

**dragon@obernewtyn.net - Day 1, Spring – 10:52 am  
to: All Guilds  
****Subject: ****YOU ALL MEAN.**

YOU MEAN, TAKE DRAGON FROM DREAMTRAILS, PAIN DRAGON HERE AND HERE.

DRAGON RESIGN. SO THERE. GOING **HOME**.

* * *

**rushton@obernewtyn.net - Day 1, Spring – 10:59 am  
to: Dameon;  
****Subject: ****Dragon**

Contain her, will you? Remind me never to give out PC’s so blithely again. I feel a review is in order.

Guildmerge looms. Tell me it will all be ok. And have you seen / heard from Elspeth this morning?

Rushton.

* * *

**lina@obernewtyn.net - Day 1, Spring – 11:03 am  
to: Dragon;  
****Subject: ****Wait!!**

Dragon, you can’t leave!!

Please reconsider, I’d miss you too much!! I know we haven’t talked much in the past but I feel like you’re the only one who can comprehend me!!

Meet me in the loos during Guildmerge and we’ll have a chat, k?

Lin.

* * *

**dameon@obernewtyn.net - Day 1, Spring – 11:08 am  
to: Dragon;  
****Subject: ****Your resignation.**

Dragon dearest,

This is not a good time for you to resign from the Empaths; the Winter was hard on all of us, and I need someone with your strength of character to help pull the Empaths out of this all-time anonymity low.

I feel your pain. I mean that literally. How can I help you?

Dameon

* * *

**dameon@obernewtyn.net - Day 1, Spring – 11:19 am  
to: Alad; Gevan; Maryon; Elspeth; Roland; Garth; Rushton;  
****Subject: ****reminder**

Guildmerge in 40. Mind you are all there.

Thanks,  
Dameon  
**Empath Guildmaster**

* * *

**dameon@obernewtyn.net - Day 1, Spring – 11:22 am  
to: Rushton;  
****Subject: RE: ****Dragon**

I have had a word to Dragon. You must allow some grace on her part, the girl has been through so much already.

As for the Farseeker Guildmistress, I’m afraid the answer is no. Not a peep. However, if you want predictions re: Guildmerge, contact Maryon.

While I see the benefits of this regime, I fail to see how it does the Beast Guild justice. Review at GM.

Dameon

* * *

**fian@obernewtyn.net - Day 1, Spring – 11:39 am  
to: Garth;  
****Subject: ****Tor**

I expect the launch of the server was successful this morning. It certainly looks as though everything is working from Tor!! Sorry to disrupt you on the busiest of de-bugging days, but there’s something here we think you should see.

Let me give you a hint... It’s brittle, hand-penned, and smells like dust. It also has Hannah Seraphim’s autograph gracing the first page.

See you soon.  
Fian

* * *

**garth@obernewtyn.net - Day 1, Spring – 11:45 am  
to: Jak;  
****Subject: FW: ****reminder – help.**

Jak, something has come up re: the Tor excavation and I have to leave immediately.

I’ll log in once I’ve established base. Cover for me at Guildmerge. Tell them anything.

You’re a life saver,  
Garth

* * *

**rushton@obernewtyn.net - Day 1, Spring – 11:55 am  
to: Ceirwan;  
****Subject: ****calling Farseeker representatives..**

Ceirwan, if you are at your PC, I judge by this time that neither you nor your illustrious Guildmistress are joining us for Guildmerge this morning.

My office. Immediately. I don’t care if you’re having the mind-lock-meld-breakthrough of the century, just get someone from your Guild in here.

Rushton

* * *

**ceirwan@obernewtyn.net - Day 1, Spring – 11:59 am  
to: Rushton;  
****Subject: RE: c****alling Farseeker representatives..**

Rushton, I wasn’t aware of Guildmerge. I’ll come over immediately.

I apologise for the delay, please begin without us. What a confusing and daunting first day of Spring!

Regards,  
Ceirwan  
**Farseeker Guilden**

* * *

**ceirwan@obernewtyn.net - Day 1, Spring – 12:01 pm  
to: Zarak; Aras;  
****Subject: ****** **drop what you are doing.**

Guildmerge, now. Master = not happy. Elspeth = AWOL. We’ll have to cover for her. Meet you there.

Ceir

* * *

**katlyn.llewellyn@obernewtyn.net - Day 1, Spring – 12:11 pm  
to: Javo;  
****Subject: ****a possible set back**

Javo deary, have you had anyone shift the vats of flour intended for today’s lastmeal?

I’ve counted the stores twice. Please advise. Thanks a million ducky.

Isn’t this emailing system exciting! I can’t wait to contact Brydda on it…though how long do you think until this teknology reaches Sutrium?

Katlyn

* * *

**javo@obernewtyn.net - Day 1, Spring – 12:25 pm  
to: Coercer Guild; Beasting Guild;  
cc: Rushton;  
****Subject: ****a doomed lastmeal**

Though I trust you enjoyed your firstmeal (many thanks to the Master for his appreciative words), I doubt lastmeal will be nearly so enjoyable unless whoever stole the 7 VATS of flour comes forth with them.

This isn’t funny. I’m not happy. Katlyn is readying the wooden spoon.

Tick Tock  
Javo

* * *

**lina@obernewtyn.net - Day 1, Spring – 12:31 pm  
to: Javo; cc: Rushton;  
****Subject: RE: ****a doomed lastmeal**

Javo,

I find it most insulting that you automatically imply the Coercer and Beasting Guilds are behind the missing vats of flour.

Please think before you press ‘send’ in future to avoid hurting people’s feelings, including mine.

Lina

* * *

**javo@obernewtyn.net - Day 1, Spring – 12:37 pm  
to: Lina;  
****Subject: ****truths**

Tell me that you aren’t behind this. Then I will retract my accusation.

And please refrain from CC-ing the Master over such a trivial complaint.

* * *

**lina@obernewtyn.net - Day 1, Spring – 12:41 pm  
to: Javo;  
****Subject: RE: ****truths**

What would I do with 7 vats of flour?!? Check your prescriptions Javo, I’ll ask Kella to up double them if you see it unbefitting for a man in your position to ask such a thing?

Back off.

* * *

**katlyn.llewellyn@obernewtyn.net - Day 1, Spring – 12:48 pm  
to: Javo;  
****Subject: RE: ****a doomed lastmeal**

Hold Javo dear, the flour is here. Stocktaking error.

Sorry to cause a panic ducky. I’ll get some of the lads to bring it up to the kitchens.

Katlyn

* * *

**javo@obernewtyn.net - Day 1, Spring – 12:55 pm  
to: Coercer Guild; Beasting Guild;  
****Subject: ****Flour**

The missing flour has been returned. Lastmeal will proceed as planned.

Apologies for the group email but thanks to the able management skills of the storehousing department and Katlyn Llewellyn, the crisis was averted.

May your appetites grow large,  
Javo.

* * *

**lina@obernewtyn.net - Day 1, Spring – 12:58 pm  
to: Javo;  
****Subject: ****Yes. Flour.**

Who was behind that uncouth prank, Javo?

* * *

**javo@obernewtyn.net - Day 1, Spring – 1:06 pm  
to: Lina; cc: Rushton;  
****Subject: RE: ****Yes. Flour.**

Lina,

Please refrain from abusing this (however appealing) new communications method. It is not a toy. I have work to do and would appreciate no further interruptions.

Many thanks,  
Javo.

* * *

**lina@obernewtyn.net - Day 1, Spring – 1:12 pm  
to: Dragon;  
****Subject: ****That PRICK!**

Dragon, you thought your life was bad, I’ve got to put up with the moronic accusations of none other than Javo-the-sooky-cook.

Katlyn told us up here on the farms; it was a stocktaking error! Not a conspiracy against the oh-so-important one-manned Chef Guild of Obernewtyn! Still up for running away?? I’ll meet you in the meal hall in 15 – Katlyn’s getting us to move these vats over now.  
  
Talk soon,  
Lina.

* * *

**dragon@obernewtyn.net - Day 1, Spring – 1:17 pm  
to: Lina;  
****Subject: RE: ****That PRICK!**

OK I WILL SEE YOU THEN LINA-FRIEND I DO NOT LIKE JAVO PUSH EVERYONE AROUND SO MUCH MAYBE HE GETS PUSHED INTO FLOUR – OOPS ACCIDENT. THANK YOU LINA-FRIEND FOR TALK BEFORE WHILE MASTER IS IN MEETING I DO NOT WANT TO RUN AWAY ANY MORE FROM DRAGON

* * *

**rushton@obernewtyn.net - Day 1, Spring – 1:20 pm  
to: Elspeth; Garth;  
****Subject: ****Guildmerge**

I trust that beyond both your Guildens’ lame excuses are extremely good reasons for not being at Guildmerge. You Guildens will have to de-brief you. As usual. 

Garth, we must talk re: activation of the entire Obernewtyn community to email is a no go. Whoever is up now will stay. Your Guilden seems to think that the server-whatsit can’t handle more than 30-odd accounts running at once.

Elspeth, my office, as soon as you read this. Enough is enough.

Rushton

* * *

**ceirwan@obernewtyn.net - Day 1, Spring – 1:34 pm  
to: Elspeth;  
****Subject: ****Are you alive?**

Morning Elspeth,

Just letting you know that Guildmerge went well and Rushton wasn’t too mad that you couldn’t make it.

I’ll be over with a cuppa tea and a de-briefing as soon as I’ve handled some important inter-guild relations nonsense.

Ceir.

* * *

**ceirwan@obernewtyn.net - Day 1, Spring – 1:39 pm  
to: Freya;  
****Subject: ****good morning!!**

Hi Freya!! I hope you’ve been able to work out this new system, we’ve all just sort of been thrown into it at once, haven’t we?

What are you doing say, 4:00?

Ceir

* * *

**freya@obernewtyn.net - Day 1, Spring – 1:46 pm  
to: Ceirwan;  
****Subject: RE: ****good morning!!**

Hello to yourself, how is the day treating you?

I’ve been up to my ears in Dragon’s nonsense this morning. Come and rescue me via the Empath Wing AS SOON AS YOU ARE FREE.

Quickly Frazzling,  
Frey.

* * *

**dragon@obernewtyn.net - Day 1, Spring – 1:50 pm  
to: Lina;  
****Subject: ****FREYA**

IS LINA OK AFTER TALK? DRAGON THINKS JAVO HEARD LINA SCREAMS FROM COURTYARD BUT LET HIM HEAR IT. FREYA IS MEAN TO DRAGON. DRAGON READ FREYA EMAIL TO CEIRWAN-FRIEND. LINA HELP DRAGON? WE PUSH FREYA INTO FLOUR?

* * *

**lina@obernewtyn.net - Day 1, Spring – 2:01 pm  
to: Dragon;  
****Subject: RE: ****FREYA**

That stupid cow. I’ve never thought she was any good. We’ll strategise the situation at lastmeal. She can’t get away with slandering my best friend!!!!!

Lin

* * *

**jak@obernewtyn.net - Day 1, Spring – 2:08 pm  
to: Fian;  
****Subject: ****Tor..??**

What is going on down there? And sight of Garth yet? I don’t think the Great Surly One believed my excuse for him – I told him that Garth was ‘indefinitely indisposed’ – is that wrong?

If you see Garth before he gets a chance to log in, tell him I have a report of the meeting for him.

Thanks Fian,  
Jak

* * *

**rushton@obernewtyn.net - Day 1, Spring – 2:20 pm  
to: Dameon;  
****Subject: ****What am I?**

You would think that as Master of Obernewtyn, and with this networking ‘miracle system’ of Garth’s, we could establish a more virulent communication reaction time merely within the Guildleader hierarchy.

Yet it is mid afternoon, and I have not heard a peep from the Farseeker Guildmistress’s headquarters.

My Tekno-Guildleader has disappeared, ‘indefinitely indisposed’ on one of our most significant days.

I am at a loss over the Beasting Guild’s concerns that we are discriminating against the Beast Guild. I doubt they will accept Alad’s proposition of an interpreter. However, if we can get a brail keyboard and printer for you, I’m sure we can manage something for the Beasts.

Please tell me that your negligence to speak at GM was due to your ever-brilliant fix-it mind working in overdrive.

Rushton

* * *

**dameon@obernewtyn.net - Day 1, Spring – 2:24 pm  
to: Ceirwan;  
****Subject: ****Where is Elspeth?**

Can you have her report to me immediately please Ceirwan?

Thanks,  
Dameon

* * *

**dameon@obernewtyn.net - Day 1, Spring – 2:33 pm  
to: Miky; Angina;  
****Subject: ****a weary plea..**

Thanks for making it to the GM this morning.

I would like to get to work straight away on the establishment of email groups for the majority of the guild that won’t be able to have their own email addresses until Garth finds a way to expand our current server capacities.

I would also ask you to keep an eye on Dragon. She seemed very unstable this morning. I am sorry I cannot be there for her.

You know what to discuss with them; you were there. I know I can entrust this task to you.

I am currently ‘indefinitely indisposed’, for want of a better term.

You guys are my eyes, ears, voice...etc  
Dameon

* * *

**miky@obernewtyn.net - Day 1, Spring – 2:37 pm  
to: Angina;  
****Subject: ****what just happened??**

Did you just get an email from Dameon asking us to cover for him???

* * *

**angina@obernewtyn.net - Day 1, Spring – 2:39 pm  
to: Miky;  
****Subject: RE: ****what just happened??**

Undoubtedly Rushton is already on his case to solve all his problems...

I suggest we assume the Guildleader-in-stead positions and just get to work.

Meet in Empath meeting hall in 15?

* * *

**miky@obernewtyn.net - Day 1, Spring – 2:44 pm  
to: Empath Guild  
****Subject: ****please assemble**

Would you all pretty-please be able to come to the Empath meeting hall in 10 minutes?

We have some announcements to make post-GM.

See you soon sweeties :)

Miky  
**Empath Guilden**

* * *

**rushton@obernewtyn.net - Day 1, Spring – 2:57 pm  
to: Ceirwan;  
****Subject: ****what is farseeking?**

Because I doubt it would take a Farseeker this long to find one person.

As exciting as email is, pray, astound us with your natural talents and locate your Guildmistress.

R

* * *

**ceirwan@obernewtyn.net - Day 1, Spring – 3:16 pm  
to: Rushton; cc: Dameon;  
****Subject: ****explanations!**

Sorry about the misunderstanding!

I have some good news and some bad news for you.

The good news is that I’ve found Elspeth.

The bad news is that she’s in a coma.

Regroup in the Healer Hall if you want to know more.

Ceirwan

* * *

**kella@obernewtyn.net - Day 1, Spring – 3:34 pm  
to: Freya;  
****Subject: ****tidings..**

Freya dear,

Ceirwan asked me to email you to let you know that he can’t make your 4:00.

How was your day? We’re flat out at the Healer Hall. Some things never change!

Talk soon,  
Kella

* * *

**freya@obernewtyn.net - Day 1, Spring – 3:41 pm  
to: Kella;  
****Subject: RE: ****tidings..**

Thank you Kella but that doesn’t sound good at all!! What has happened!? Can I help?? Tell me all!!

And mention to Ceir that I’m never emailing him again.

Joke.

Freya

* * *

**kella@obernewtyn.net - Day 1, Spring – 3:48 pm  
to: Freya;  
****Subject: RE: ****tidings..**

I don’t have much time atm, but I may as well tell you.

The Farseeker Guildmistress is in a coma. Perfectly all right, I assure you, just her mind is a million miles away.

I could ask you to not spread the word, but I would be deluding myself...

Kella

* * *

**freya@obernewtyn.net - Day 1, Spring – 3:51 pm  
to: Kella;  
****Subject: RE: ****tidings..**

That’s horrible!! Again, let me know if I can help (Enhancing might help!)!! And the news is safe with me!!! Frey

* * *

**alad@obernewtyn.net - Day 1, Spring – 4:10 pm  
to: Rushton; Jak;  
****Subject: ****Beast Guild de-briefing**

Rushton,

I have offered the Beasts the only option I see we are willing to give them; a typist and their own beasts@obernewtyn.net email address. It’s the only way to avoid a messy confrontation.

Jak, I know you are busy today. Would you be able to add the following email for exclusive use of the Beast Guild to our thingo-whatsit all these emails are sent through? beasts@obernewtyn.net I’ve made the arrangements at my end to have an interpreter on standby for them.

Please advise when work is completed.

Many thanks, Please advise asap if there are any problems,

Alad  
**Beasting Guildmaster**

* * *

**freya@obernewtyn.net - Day 1, Spring – 4:19 pm  
to: Lina;  
****Subject: ****..news!**

Lina, you won’t believe what I just got told!!!

The Farseeker Guildmistress is comatose!!!!!! I hope she’s ok!!

Will update as news unfolds!!!

Freya

* * *

**lina@obernewtyn.net - Day 1, Spring – 4:29 pm  
to: Freya;  
****Subject: RE: ****..news!**

U ARE JOKING. What happened?!

I’d love to come up to the Healer Hall and see for myself but Alad has just promoted me to the grandiose position of ‘Beast Guild Interpreter’. Hoo har.

Lina

* * *

**freya@obernewtyn.net - Day 1, Spring – 4:32 pm  
to: Lina;  
****Subject: RE: ****..news**

Poor you!! No news on the Elspeth-front as yet though.

Happy typing.

Frey

* * *

**beasts@obernewtyn.net - Day 1, Spring – 4:37 pm  
to: All Guilds  
****Subject: ****Beast Guild are on email**

Hello all,

Just writing to make everybody aware that the Beast Guild now has a voice within the new Obernewtyn network and we would also appreciate being included in all future ‘All Guild’ posts.

Signing off,  
Lina - for Avra

* * *

**jak@obernewtyn.net - Day 1, Spring – 4:50 pm  
to: Beasts;  
****Subject: RE: ****Beast Guild are on email**

Hi Avra,

Welcome to the Network. Let me know if you have any troubles getting used to it. We’re all bound to have some issues adjusting.

The Teknoguild pledges its support.

Jak  
**Teknoguild Guilden**

* * *

**fian@obernewtyn.net - Day 1, Spring – 4:59 pm  
to: Jak;  
****Subject: ****you won’t believe me**

I thought Garth told you. We’ve found the diaries of Hannah Seraphim.

I’m excited.

Fian

* * *

**dell@obernewtyn.net - Day 1, Spring – 5:07 pm  
to: Jak;  
****Subject: ****hello??**

Jak, where is the tekno-support you promised us at GM?

I’m sick of trying to decide whether the random thumps coming from Maryon’s room are:  
1) Christa fainting.  
2) Maryon fainting.  
3) 1 + 2  
4) the PC’s repeatedly falling off their desks.

Please get someone up here asap.

Thanking you in advance,  
Dell

* * *

**jak@obernewtyn.net - Day 1, Spring – 5:11 pm  
to: Zadia;  
****Subject: ****the Futuretellers**

Zadia, I know you are busy with your experiments, but could you take a moment and duck to the Futureteller’s aid?

I am swamped here, what with Garth gallivanting in Tor.

You are a lifesaver,  
Jak

* * *

**zadia@obernewtyn.net - Day 1, Spring – 5:15 pm  
to: Jak;  
****Subject: RE: ****the Futuretellers**

No problemo ;)

Though I don’t know how you can ask me to tear myself away from the exciting world of glow moths at such a time...

Zee

* * *

**jak@obernewtyn.net - Day 1, Spring – 5:18 pm  
to: Dell;  
****Subject: RE: ****hello??**

Dell,

I’ve sent someone to your Wing post-haste. If your Guildmistress and Guilden are no longer with us as a result of my delay, please try and save the PC’s. They are expensive.

Smiles soon,  
Jak

* * *

**freya@obernewtyn.net - Day 1, Spring – 5:33 pm  
to: Lina; Beasts;  
****Subject: ****My life is over.**

Lina,

Which email address are you answering to? I’ve just been to the Healer Hall – Elspeth is still comatose, and that strange cat is hanging about like she’s a piece of cheese.

Ceirwan didn’t even say hello to me! Am I just totally ugly or something?!? What should I do?!?!?!?!

*sobs*  
Frey.

* * *

**beasts@obernewtyn.net - Day 1, Spring – 5:46 pm  
to: Freya;  
****Subject: RE: ****My life is over.**

Freya dear, you are gorgeous; don’t let that good-for-nothing Farseeker Guilden tell you otherwise.

He probably just considers himself oh-too-important for an Empath Guilder. You have to admit, you guys really haven’t been up to much lately.

As for the e addy, it’s beasts or nothing. They STOLE my email address and reassigned it over to another one of those tekno-geeks! Like they don’t already have enough email addresses!!!!!!! Anywho, while I’m ‘indefinitely indisposed’ as interpreter for the Beast Guild, would you be able to keep an eye on Dragon for me?

I know the girl’s a mess, but she’s got a good heart. She needs friends like us.

Thanks chicky,  
Lin.

* * *

**javo@obernewtyn.net - Day 1, Spring – 6:00 pm  
to: All Guilds  
****Subject: ****Lastmeal is served**

Come and get it while it’s hot.

Javo.

* * *

**freya@obernewtyn.net - Day 1, Spring – 6:06 pm  
to: Beasts;  
****Subject: ****rendezvous**

Dragon is a sinch, I just gave her something shiny.

Meet me for lastmeal? I need to strategise the Ceirwan situation!!! Or e me.

Frey.

* * *

**beasts@obernewtyn.net - Day 1, Spring – 6:12 pm  
to: Dragon;  
****Subject: ****HOLY FREYA**

She is a bloody nightmare!!!

Gets one bit of goss and thinks she’s miss popular!?! And I wouldn’t normally say anything coz I don’t snitch, but because you’re like, my best friend I have to let you know she’s saying mean things about you!!!! What a COW.

She’s sooooo jealous of you I bet! Puh-leeze let the air out of that girl’s head. Quick.

Lin.

* * *

**beasts@obernewtyn.net - Day 1, Spring – 6:16 pm  
to: Freya;  
****Subject: RE: ****rendezvous**

Sorry chicky, I’m up to my elbows in Beast Guild work.

Am taking lastmeal in the barn with Katlyn (who says hello btw!). What lives we lead. Maybe another time.

And Ceirwan will be fine.

Lina.

* * *

**freya@obernewtyn.net - Day 1, Spring – 6:20 pm  
to: Beasts;  
****Subject: RE: ****rendezvous**

That’s ok. Sure, another time would be good. 

I think he doesn’t like my hair. Maybe I should cut it off?? Dye it black?? What about straightening it?! Help!!

Bullocks to lastmeal, Maybe I’m too fat.

Frey.

* * *

**ceirwan@obernewtyn.net - Day 1, Spring – 6:29 pm  
to: Freya;  
****Subject: ****Did Kella e you?**

You’re probably at lastmeal, but I have managed to get away from the sick room and logged into Rolands PC (lud know’s he’ll never have time to use it). I’m so sorry I couldn’t talk when you came by before. Between Elspeth’s coma and Rushton’s panic attacks, it’s been a nightmare down here. And I’m not even a Healer.

Give a tired and sorry Guilden a second chance?

Forever yours,  
Ceirwan.

* * *

**dell@obernewtyn.net - Day 1, Spring – 6:42 pm  
to: Jak;  
****Subject: ****Are you aware…**

OK. Christa wants me to e you.

She’s ‘seen’ something to do with the Tor excavation, Elspeth, and a message. Try and interpret that one.

But she wanted me to tell you, none the less.

Happy theorizing,  
D.

* * *

**jak@obernewtyn.net - Day 1, Spring – 6:47 pm  
to: Dell;  
****Subject: RE: ****Are you aware…**

How…intriguing.

Could it have something to do with finding Hannah Seraphim’s diaries in the buried city? What do you think of that???

:D Jak-o

* * *

**dragon@obernewtyn.net - Day 1, Spring – 6:59 pm  
to: Beasts;  
****Subject: RE: ****HOLY FREYA**

DRAGON HAS PLAN. FOUND AN EMAIL FROM CEIRWAN-FRIEND TO FREYA SAYING MANY TIMES SORRY. DRAGON’S HAND SLIPPED. THE MESSAGE HAS GONE…SO SAD. MANY TIMES SORRY. DRAAAAAAAAAAA

* * *

**beasts@obernewtyn.net - Day 1, Spring – 6:59 pm  
to: Dragon;  
****Subject: RE: H****OLY FREYA**

WOW!!!! I can’t believe you!!!! You’re a genius!!!

Hmmm…that has given me a marvellous idea… I will update you in a moment… *wink wink* We are too evil :D But she deserves it!!!

Linnnnnnnnn

* * *

**zadia@obernewtyn.net - Day 1, Spring – 7:20 pm  
to: Jak;  
****Subject: ****Futuretellers, meet future.**

I’m laughing Jak. After 3 hours of basic computer training, I believe we have a winner. You should hear from Maryon soon.

Christa is too obsessed with some vision to type so you’ll have to take my word. I think the poor girl’s still a little afraid of the keyboard, every time she tried to type ‘a’ she’d hit ‘caps lock’ and think the computer was screaming silent messages to her. Thus, I’m logged onto her system.

Did you get anything for lastmeal? Silly question, hey? I’ll go see what I can forage from the sooky cook.

See you soon.  
Zee.

* * *

**maryon@obernewtyn.net - Day 1, Spring – 7:39 pm  
to: Jak;  
****Subject: ******

CAN YOU HEAR ME JAK? FROM MARYON

* * *

**jak@obernewtyn.net - Day 1, Spring – 7:41 pm  
to: Zadia;  
****Subject: RE: ****Futuretellers, meet future.**

Well done :D

* * *

**jak@obernewtyn.net - Day 1, Spring – 7:44 pm  
to: All Guilds  
****Subject: ****Good night.**

Good night, all, on what has been a most unusual day.

I trust the email system has served you all well. Please feel free to hone your skills during the night, but the server will be rebooted at midnight. Call it the curse of the Cinderella virus if you would. …and most of you won’t understand that.

Eccentric as ever,  
Jak-o

* * *

**beasts@obernewtyn.net - Day 1, Spring – 7:45 pm  
to: Ceirwan;  
****Subject: ****Hello!**

Hi Ceirwan,

How’s Elspeth coping in the Healer Hall? Does anyone know what caused it yet? I hope she’s all right!!!

We’re all eager to hear of her progress down on the farms. How are you?!?! Not too busy to answer an e from a tired and sorry beast interpreter I hope!! I probably shouldn’t say anything since she’s one of my best friends, but being that you’re such a nice guy and all, I thought I should warn you. Freya’s on the war path – something about you not meeting her? Be careful!! She’s talking about a total break off, and she’s out to flaunt herself as much as possible in front of you – ie: this is what you’re never going to get, mister!

If you need any help with her, let me know – I can talk to her as only a best friend can. I’d hate to see you two split up over something so silly.

Anywho, you’ve got more pressing issues on your mind, I’m sure.

Talk soon, and take care,  
Lin.

* * *

**rushton@obernewtyn.net - Day 1, Spring – 7:52 pm  
to: Tekno Guild  
****Subject: ****Hannah Seraphim and one comatose Guildmistress.**

I entreat the Tekno Guild pass this message onto Garth as soon as you see him, since he’s unlikely to be at his desk while there’s diaries to be read.

I would like to read the diaries too, Garth.

So would the Futureteller Guild.

Bring them home immediately.

Elspeth’s life, and your title, is at risk.

For the rest of you, happy theorizing.

And…I am only joking.

Aren’t I…?

Rushton Seraphim  
**Master of Obernewtyn**

* * *

**lina@obernewtyn.net - Day 1, Spring – 7:57 pm  
to: Dragon;  
****Subject: ****Plan into action:**

Hey Missy Dragon,

I’ve put the plan into action – I emailed Ceirwan and warned him about Freya. I’ll let you know how he takes it. But I need you to do something for me!! Is Freya still at lastmeal????

If she isn’t, try and distract her or something!!! You need to get onto her PC and copy / paste the following to gevan@obernewtyn.net.

**\--- copy and paste this: ---**

Hi Gevan,

Everyone’s telling me you’re the man to talk to about combat training. I’ve decided it’s time for a silly lass like me to learn to defend herself. Would you meet me outside the front doors tonight, say 9:30pm?

Sorry so late, but I don’t want anyone else to know until I’m good at it. Pretty please?

Oh, and can you reply to dragon@obernewtyn.net too?? Angina wants to look at my inbox.

Thank you!!  
Freya.

**\--- stop here ---**

We’ll bring her down for being mean to you!!!!

Lin.

* * *

**freya@obernewtyn.net - Day 1, Spring – 8:03 pm  
to: Gevan;  
****Subject: ****COMBAT TRAINING SILLY GIRL**

Hi Gevan,

Everyone’s telling me you’re the man to talk to about combat training. I’ve decided it’s time for a silly lass like me to learn to defend herself. Would you meet me outside the front doors tonight, say 9:30pm?

Sorry so late, but I don’t want anyone else to know until I’m good at it. Pretty please?

Oh, and can you reply to dragon@obernewtyn.net too?? Angina wants to look at my inbox.

Thank you!!  
Freya.

* * *

**dragon@obernewtyn.net - Day 1, Spring – 8:10 pm  
to: Beasts;  
****Subject: ****THIS IS MEAN**

GEVAN IS TOO NICE. CEIRWAN IS FRIEND. DRAGON NOT PLAYING ANY MORE. LINA STILL FRINED?? FROM MIS DRAG

* * *

**beasts@obernewtyn.net - Day 1, Spring – 8:23 pm  
to: Dragon;  
****Subject: ****SHE IS MEAN**

Of course you are still my friend!!! Don’t worry about it anyway, I’m getting sick of the whole stupid email system. Time for a spot of supper methinks. Katlyn’s cracked open the berry pies if you want to sneak down to the farms and celebrate day one of spring with us. I know the beasts are missing you too!!!!

Luv,  
Lina.

PS: see the button labeled ‘caps lock’?? try hitting it before you type next time.

* * *

**gevan@obernewtyn.net - Day 1, Spring – 8:26 pm  
to: Dragon;  
****Subject: RE: ****COMBAT TRAINING SILLY GIRL**

Freya, I’m sorry dearest but I don’t have a minute to spare tonight.

However, one of my highly-trained Coercers would be more than willing to conduct martial arts classes for yourself and any others of the Empath Guild who wish to join you.

Gevan.  
**Coercer Guildmaster.**

* * *

**dragon@obernewtyn.net - Day 1, Spring – 8:29 pm  
to: Freya;  
****Subject: FW: RE: ****COMBAT TRAINING SILLY GIRL**

this email came for you some reason. dragon is going to farms, tell dameon-master ok? Dragon.

> Freya,  
> I’m sorry dearest but I don’t have a minute to spare tonight.  
> However, one of my highly-trained Coercers would be more than willing to conduct martial arts classes for yourself and any others of the Empath Guild who wish to join you.  
>Gevan.  
>Coercer Guildmaster.

* * *

**freya@obernewtyn.net - Day 1, Spring – 8:50 pm  
to: Dragon; cc: Gevan;  
****Subject: RE: FW: RE****: COMBAT TRAINING SILLY GIRL**

Sorry, what? Did I miss something?

* * *

**ceirwan@obernewtyn.net - Day 1, Spring – 9:38 pm  
to: Beasts;  
****Subject: RE: ****Hello!**

Hi Lina,

Elspeth is as always, hard to read. Maruman is guarding her like she’s his cheese. The Futuretellers have been checking her out, but they can’t even sense her so it’s unlikely she’s on a dreamtrail they can reach.

Christa seems to think it has something to do with Tor and Hannah Seraphim’s diaries. Did you know, Fian had Garth go to Tor this morning because they found them? Rushton’s ordered them back to Obernewtyn asap with the books in hand.

You have hit the nail on the head with Freya I’m afraid…she hasn’t been answering my e’s and didn’t say two words to me at the Healer Hall earlier. I’d hoped to catch her for supper, but she didn’t show up. Can you tell her I’m sorry next time you see her?

Say hello to the Beast guild for me.

Ceirwan.

* * *

**beasts@obernewtyn.net - Day 1, Spring - 9:46 pm  
to: Ceirwan;  
****Subject: RE: ****Hello!**

Um…Ceirwan? Please don’t let Freya hurt you. She’s my best friend. But you’re not as bad as she’s saying you are. Perhaps it’s time to move on…

Talk later, I’m going to bed…

You know where I live,  
Lina.

* * *

**dell@obernewtyn.net - Day 1, Spring - 10:03 pm  
to: Garth; Fian;  
****Subject: ****fascinating…**

Hey guys,

Would you be able to bring Hannah’s diaries up to the Futureteller Wing before sending them off to the Master for confiscation?

Christa is sure she’ll see more once she sees/feels them. Being that Elspeth’s life is on the line, I’m sure Rushton won’t mind.

Thanks,  
Dell.

* * *

**ceirwan@obernewtyn.net - Day 1, Spring - 10:09 pm  
to: Freya;  
****Subject: ****is it over?**

Freya, I hope what I’m hearing isn’t true.

I have had a rough day, I’m extremely busy with Elspeth being comatose and Rushton screaming about not being able to wake her. You’re becoming very selfish. But I hope you can explain yourself…

Ceir.

* * *

**christa@obernewtyn.net - Day 1, Spring - 10:50 pm  
to: Kella;  
****Subject: ****sense…no sense.**

Hello Kella,

have you had any luck with elspeth yet because I really need her to see these diaries they are written in parts in code and maryon tells me that Elspeth ‘mun’ interpret them, or will know how, or can get Maruman to work it out. We…think…it’s quite important.

Thank you,  
Christa.

* * *

**kella@obernewtyn.net - Day 1, Spring - 11:01 pm  
to: Christa;  
****Subject: RE: ****sense…no sense.**

Welcome to email, Christa,

Bring them over. We’ll give them to her as soon as she wakes (which could be any moment…who knows?).

Kella.

* * *

**freya@obernewtyn.net - Day 1, Spring - 11:05 pm  
to: Ceirwan;  
****Subject: RE: ****is it over?**

Ceirwan, what are you talking about? You have ignored me all day.

Fair enough that Elspeth is dead or whatever, but I deserve a little attention. You have really hurt me. We have to talk. Later.

I’m going to sleep.  
Frey.

* * *

**jak@obernewtyn.net - Day 1, Spring - 11:10 pm  
to: All Guilds  
****Subject: ****reminder.**

The server is being rebooted in 50 minutes. Please don’t forget.

We need everyone logged out before then to avoid loosing any information.

Thanks,  
Jak

* * *

**dell@obernewtyn.net - Day 1, Spring - 11:14 pm  
to: Jak;  
****Subject: ****tongues**

Do you read Jerman? Or is it Gadi? Any other languages? Elspeth’s still asleep, and Maryon’s insisting someone decodes this diary. Any help offered would be greatly appreciated. We’re in the Healer Hall.

D.

* * *

**jak@obernewtyn.net - Day 1, Spring - 11:25 pm  
to: Dell; Quinn;  
****Subject: RE: ****tongues**

Dell, say hello to Quinn.

Quinn, could you please go to the Healer Hall and try make sense of the diaries of Hannah Seraphim?

I’d love to go myself, but the workload just won’t let off…

And if you see Garth, tell him we miss him. Or something. I don’t know, he should be here when the server reboots.

Jak.

* * *

**quinn@obernewtyn.net - Day 1, Spring - 11:29 pm  
to: Dell; Jak;  
****Subject: RE: ****tongues**

Heya Dell, Jak, I’m on my way.

Fun fun fun,  
Quinn.

* * *

**dell@obernewtyn.net - Day 1, Spring - 11:40 pm  
to: All Guilds  
****Subject: ****does anyone know how to speak anything other than Jerman?!**

It’s VERY important. Anyone awake? Please report to the Healer Hall and ask for E.Gordie’s room, number 47, Comatose wing…we really need some help.

D.

* * *

**kella@obernewtyn.net - Day 1, Spring - 11:48 pm  
to: Ceirwan;  
****Subject: ****Elspeth just woke up**

Thought you’d like to know.

* * *

**elspeth@obernewtyn.net - Day 1, Spring - 11:58 pm  
to: All Guilds  
****Subject: ****DON’T TOUCH THAT SERVER!!**

It’s going to blow!!!!!

Leave it alone, I’ll be there as soon as Roland lets me out of bed.

You’d better listen to me Garth, unless you want the next Great White upon you!

Elspeth  
**Farseeker Guildmistress**

* * *

The End

**Author's Note:**

> Oooooh...is this how the second Great White will come upon Obernewtyn? Is Windows XP going to be responsible for the end of humanity?


End file.
